365 Days, 365 Movies.
last action hero jack slater arnold schwarzenegger austin o'brien danny madigan
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January 6: Last Action Hero (Epilogue) First thing first, I do indeed like this movie. It’s got a cult following, and if you look it up on Tumblr, you can see that this cult following is present on...
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January 6: Last Action Hero (Epilogue)

First thing first, I do indeed like this movie. It’s got a cult following, and if you look it up on Tumblr, you can see that this cult following is present on this very site! So, if you’re in that cult following, well…

I’ve got good news and bad news, to quote the Dean. Yes, I’ve been rewatching Community, what of it? Anyway, I do like this movie…and it’s an absolute mess that makes no sense when you really think about it.

Rather than go into my feelings on it now, I’ll just put up the review, OK? Let’s go. And get ready for a lot of words. I know, atypical of me.

Review

Cast and Acting

I appreciate that Arnold was, essentially, making fun of himself throughout this movie. And in the end, he almost injected some character depth into Jack Slater. Almost. THe movie itself didn’t really let him, but I’ll get into that in the next section. Austin O’Brien does fine with Danny, but he doesn’t save from getting juuuuuust a little annoying there around the middle. Again, there’s obviously something deeper to the character, but the movie didn’t let O’Brien explore any of that depth. But then again, he’s also far too emotionless in the movie, considering the events that happen within it. Unfortunately, that’s common for ‘90s movie kid protagonists, and it’s very jarring in this example. On the flip side, Charles Dance is fantastic. Seriously. I love him. Dance actually appears to be taking this role seriously throughout most of the film. Toward the end, he starts to get a little hammy during that ending villain speech (a speech literally about film villains), but he’s a great casting choice, and a great actor. But then, it’s Charles Dance. Who’s surprised by that?

Prosky’s Nick is extremely endearing. Despite his lack of screen time, he quickly became one of my favorite characters in the film as well, placing second above Slater but below Benedict. Prosky also doesn’t get a lot of time to inject much character into Nick, but we still get a sense of who this man is. Everybody else is fine; they play the characters that they’re supposed to play, no complaints there. In fact, any complaints belong in the next section. A couple of standouts amongst this supporting cast includes Tom Noonan’s Ripper (terrifying, and played very well), Bridgette Wilson’s Whitney/Meredith Caprice (the first film role gimmick to her character makes me smile), and Art Carney in his last film role.

Cast and Acting: 6/10

Plot and Writing

THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH IN THIS GODDAMN MOVIE. OK, let me explain. Zak Penn and Adam Leff wrote a story for the movie, parodying ‘80s action films like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon. This was Penn’s first movie, and he’d go on to some success including writing the story for The Avengers with Joss Whedon, alongside a few great movies, and many…not great ones. Anyway, they sold the story, and the screenplay duties were handed to Shane Black, the writer for, uh…Lethal Weapon. OK. Black, in case you didn’t know, tends to inject his screenplays with irreverence and meta humor. Check out his earlier movie The Monster Squad (I love that goddamn movie), and his later movies Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (on the list) and Iron Man 3 (form your own conclusions from that). That screenplay is VERY different from the original, and only kept a few elements. And a bunch of script doctors and edits later, and you have…a mess.

THIS MOVIE IS A MESS. IT IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. There are SO many potentials for character development and plot points that are unexplored, while the number of meta jokes and commentary and film references are SO FREQUENT that they end up breaking the entire concept of the movie. Here’s an example of what I mean: WHERE IN THE SHIT IS THE MOVIE UNIVERSE SET? Weird question, but think about this. In Slater’s world, there’s a widely accepted cartoon cat cop voiced by Danny DeVito. And, just…how? How does that work? If Danny gets zapped into the movie, that means that all of the stuff, ALL of the stuff that we see in the movie is in Slater’s universe. And that makes…no sense. Unless the film franchise is just that batshit crazy, which I doubt. This movie is absolutely crazy, and it ends up breaking itself with plot holes. There are a lot more, but this section is already long, and I’m about to add a paragraph.

See, new paragraph. Why? Well, I should say this: a lot of the commentary about the film industry and action films of the day actually do work really well. The movie-in-a-movie universe does have some great references and jokes, and that stuff actually salvages the film somewhat for me. Man, I love some of that stuff…but there’s also so much of it, that it becomes draining. Plus, the balance between the movie world and the real one is heavily skewed towards the former, not giving us enough time in the real world, and missing the opportunity to have Arnold fight Jason or Freddy Kreuger. I mean…come on. Of all the missed opportunities in the world…that’s the biggest one I’ve ever heard. Whoof.

Plot and Writing: 4/10

Direction and Action

John McTiernan, the director of Die Hard, apparently didn’t have a hell of a lot of time to make this movie, and the production of this film is legendarily a mess. That said…direction was fine. I think McTiernan did OK, and he wasn’t the biggest issue with this movie. The action, on the other hand, is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen…and I love it. A LOT. It’s constantly over-the-top, and I’m goddamn HERE for it, as I said before. If there’s anything else to talk about with this movie, it’s the goddamn action. Hell yeah.

Direction and Action: 7/10

Production Design

Costume and set design for this movie was sometimes pretty suthentic, similar to that of The Running Man. And sometimes, also like The Running Man, IT IS GODDAMN INSANE. The weird-ass creative choices in this movie boggle the mind. I didn’t even MENTION the dominatrix cop you see when Slater’s fired. Yeah, look it up. This movie makes no sense 50% of the time, from a viaul standpoint. And yet, sometimes, it’s just straight-up good looking, especially when you get to the real world. Look, if there’s anything I can see, its that this movie’s production design is extremely memorable. And for that…yeah, it weirdly deserves some credit. Might’ve melted by brain, but, hey, I ain’t gonna forget it!

Production Design: 8/10

Music and Editing

AC/DC, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Megadeth, Def Leppard, Cypress Hill. Do, uh…do I need to say anything else here? That lineup is insane, and it works pretty well! Stands out more than The Running Man did last week, and definitely brings you into the universe of the movies. Where The Running Man’s soundtrack was distilled ‘80s, this one is pure ‘90s. This one I would download on iTunes. However, it’s still not extremely memorable outside of the film, unfortunately. Better than The Running Man’s, though, I can say that.

Also, you wanna see something? Check this out.

Here’s the deal, as I see it. This movie is a complete mess. And, yeah, I gave it a 64%, which is higher than most critics would give it. But one, I’m not a critic; this is a fun hobby for me. And two…sue me. I had a good time with this movie! I laughed quite a bit throughout it, so the jokes really did work for me. Got a little annoying after a bit, but I still liked it. Would I watch this movie again? Absolutely…but probably with friends. This is definitely another good party movie. But then, it’s Arnold? Are you really surprised?

This movie, amongst EVERYTHING ELSE, sets itself up as a buddy cop movie. That’s actually a pretty common action-comedy formula, right? But I’ve seen most of the old classic buddy cop movies…so how about a new one?