Words That Kill
Words That Kill
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Metro Exodus Review - Русский симулятор Waifu

Anna is best waifu

This review contains minor spoilers.

Metro is a series of books created by Dmitry Glukhovsky. They were later adapted into video games by 4A Games. I don't have much experience with the books but I have played at least two of the three video games, with the first I experienced being Metro: Last Light and the most recent, the topic of this review, Metro Exodus.

In this series, the world was essentially destroyed after a devastating nuclear war, and some people managed to make it into their underground Metro tunnels. Everyone else died or were turned into awful mutants. The outside world is heavily irradiated and almost completely destroyed, and any ventures into that outside world are extremely dangerous for various reasons. On the surface, individuals have to contend with said radiation and mutant creatures of all kinds. In the Metros, the differing factions and political landscape can cause wars to spike up amongst the Metros.

It is not an easy world to live in.

A once beautiful world decayed by war and left to scavengers and killers. No matter how far away from home you get, some things never change.

The Controls

Right away a big issue becomes apparent. This is a PC game through and through, and the developers don't quite know how to nail the dual stick controls of playing this game with a controller. So, just like my experience with Metro: Last Light, I ended up having to spend the first 20-30 minutes of the game playing, adjusting the way the controls work, playing, readjusting the controls, etc etc. In the end I never quite found a "perfect" configuration of stick sensitivity so it always felt like I was either under-aiming or over-aiming.

Everything else was fine and enjoyable, but the rest of the game was a bit of a struggle. One does have to wonder, with as much criticisms the other two Metro games got for having the exact same problem, why they never put any time into figuring out how to smooth over these issues?

Everyone else is ugly so there's not many options.

Janky Intro

The story starts out well enough, with the main character of Artyom exploring the dead and decayed surface of Moscow, before descending into the tunnels and getting attacked by a bunch of mutants, almost dying, and then being rescued by his friends.

It does what Metro does best. Sets the pacing and tone and how you're really never safe. But unfortunately after this the opening becomes kind of... poorly developed I suppose I'd say. Artyom has this dream for finding life outside of Moscow, as everyone is essentially trapped there and unable to leave due to the inherent dangers of the outside world.

Everyone calls Artyom crazy saying things like "No Artyom! There could never be life outside! The world was destroyed by the bombs!" but then like 20 minutes later you're out exploring the world with your wife Anna and get kidnapped due to a case of mistaken identity. A motorized scout detachment that apparently drives around and monitors the outside world picks up Anna and Artyom, and right when they think they've been rescued by friendlies, the two are knocked out and captured.

It's in this vehicle that Artyom notices two other individuals. They claim that they aren't from Moscow but a village far away. Anna's all like "wow Artyom you weren't crazy after all!" and then they are taken to an execution field near a train yard where the two individuals are executed, and Artyom fights back to avoid getting shot but it doesn't quite work out. The bullet catches some instrument or other he was wearing and thus he survives.

This is about the sum of the intro that I wasn't a fan of. I think it rushes straight into it when it should have taken some time to analyze the approach. If they spent more time on this "Artyom thinks there's life outside" before finding out he was correct, then I feel like it would have been better paced. But as it is the level opens up with Artyom and his wife scouting Moscow for evidence of life outside, Anna, like everyone else has, doubting Atrytom, but then immediately discovering that he's been right the whole time. Fortunately though, that's the end of it and the game picks up into much better storytelling and pacing and never stops.

The jig is up.

The Aurora and Beyond

After that the game really kicks off. You find out that the world is not only still kicking, but in fact the reason Moscow wasn't recieving any transmissions is because there was a communications jammer running. It's a massive conspiracy that Artyom quite literally falls into after being almost killed. He sneaks into this facility and finds a train conductor named Yermak, and from there rescues his wife Anna, and in the process gets this communication jammer shot up and destroyed, which is what reveals this whole conspiracy. Suddenly communciations start flooding in from all over the world and you can see many nations in the world are still very much alive and communicating. They manage to steal a train and get away. They are chased by someone else in their orders command and in order to actually get away, Artyom jumps from one train to another and disables the rival train before hopping back onto this new train. They then escape Moscow in Exodus, hence the title of the game.

The crew names the train as the Aurora and they venture forth to discover what the world has hidden away, and what civilizations they will find.

From here the game becomes somewhat of a sandbox as you are sent to one massive location to another. Each one with a unique theme and unique hook. You get to complete side missions which alter the story slightly and get to, for the first real time, explore beyond Moscow.

I didn't follow the game at all so I found it all very unexpected. The Metro games are usually very linear action adventure game set in, well, the eponymous Metro tunnel systems. But here you're outside with a full day and night system, seemingly dynamic weather and a constant threat of danger as you must avoid radiation spots as well as roaming hordes of mutants.

But there are other challenges to contend with, such as enemy bases which house several fully armed and equipped human enemies which can make your life very difficult unless you deal with them. Fortunately though the facilities usually contain a upgrade to your gear which will help alleviate the tension as you acquire better tools for your suit. So it's usually worth taking the risk and going in.

The game still retains its signature stealth game core so sneaky tactics and silent take downs are at your disposal, or else you risk putting yourself in great danger with a full on assault by the enemy forces.

The photomode in this game let's you take great pictures.

Immersion and Atmosphere

I don't think anyone can deny that, no matter how good the Metro series is, the thing it excels at is the atmosphere. It really makes you feel fully immersed in the world by building everything from your tools and equipment, and weapons, around the world.

The map system in this game isn't some menu you access by pausing the game, it's attached to the clipboard which you can open and look at yourself. Illuminated by a small light to make sure you can see even in darkness, this kind of immersiveness is key to the game experience.

You have a flash light to illuminate the darkness, but doing so makes you easier to see. Not only that, but the game has a stealth indicator attached to Artyom's left wrist which lights up when you are exposed, and turns off when you are fully hidden. This fully in-world design does an incredibly job at getting you away from menus and splashy graphics to take you out of the experience. When you have to actually look at Artyom's watch to see how much time you have left in your gas mask filters before you have to change, it makes everything feel so much more realistic.

Not only that, but the levels throughout the game are all varied and teeming with adventure that you can only find in the Russian post-apocalypse.

Bandits in their camp sites just waiting for unfortunate people to come in and get robbed and killed, giant bats called Demons that fly around and terrorize you throughout the world. Roaming packs of mutant animals that hunt you down and spring fights when you least expect them. Latent radiation zones which make you put on a gas mask and hope for the best.

But it's not just the danger of the world, and not everything is a problem that requires a bullet to solve. You'll find little areas where you have to use your head and figure out relatively basic problems, like restoring power to a small shack which houses supplies and a special weapon or suit upgrade if you can figure out where all the gas cans are.

You also find diaries and notes scattered throughout, and can read about the troubles of the people who lived in this world before, during, and after, the bombs dropped and everything got far more complicated than typical daily life would allow. This story helps paint a picture of a world that used to be ours, but was overtaken by radiation and violence. You spend so long in the Metro wishing for a life outside in the sun, beyond radiation and monsters, but the further you go, you learn the harsh reality that it wasn't just the Metro plunged into madness.

This is an aspect of the game I truly loved. The areas you explore all have their own unique hooks which set them apart from the others completely. The look, feel, threats, vehicles. All unique to their location, so it feels like you're always doing something different.

The first major area you go to is flooded, so you will be utilizing these small paddle boats to get around the world. But that's not without danger as there are giant enemy crawfish monsters that can forcefully board your vessel and ambush you, as well as pelting you with a spit projectile.

In another level, you acquire a van which you can drive around the desert in relative safety. These differing modes of travel really go a long way to spice the game up and give you something else to do instead of building a familiar design that gets repetitive in the end. The game always feels fresh and always has stuff for you to do.

The Quiet Moments

This is probably by far my favorite part of the game, above all else. The Metro Series has excellent writing when it comes to their characters and this game is no exception. Typically the way this game works is, you go to a level, spend several hours doing things. You get to interact with all of your fellow Spartans including your wife Anna, and get to really feel the weight of these friendships and relationships, but once the level is complete you go back to your train. I call it the "quiet moments" because it focuses on the characters themselves and this game does an incredibly job emphasizing each unique personality, especially with Anna, your wife, who you have a lot of really cute and emotional moments with.

Anna is very photogenic.

It feels organic, and it feels real. In a world with giant bats and mutant creatures, that's no small task. And yet, they excel at it.

While on the Aurora especially you have some of the best "quiet moments" in the game, which is a trend that continues until the very end of the game. You will be able to spend quiet time with your wife, and hear her tell stories and monologue about the life she can't wait to have in the free open world once they find a spot worth settling down in, and the mechanics reinforce this by being able to interact with her in small loving embraces, share cigarettes(Don't smoke, kids. Shit's bad) and even drinks with her.

You can spend time in your personal cabin by adjusting the radio and listening to music stations as well as radio transmissions from individuals you either have already interacted with in the previous level, or will interact with in the next. You can hear their personal conversations, arguments, and more. It actually does a lot to build the world. Once again this game spares nothing in the way of immersion. It hits you with the realist shit every time.

But once you leave your cabin, you may explore the train and watch full scenes of conversations play out with your crew, as they joke and laugh and tell stories. As they talk about what they expect of the future, as they reminisce about their days in the Metro and how they'd like to go back and liberate all of their people from the cold hard tunnels. Except, that's no so easy, because remember, they are in exile for disrupting the big "conspiracy" to disable all radio communications in Moscow, a massive gas lighting operation left over from the Russian High Command.

So they laugh, drink, smoke, and enjoy each other's company. Usually once these big scenes are done you can interact with each member of your unit personally by standing near them. I was actually really concerned that if this stuff wasn't up to snuff, it could get boring easily, since these train segments can easily go on for about 20-30 minutes. Well, I can confirm right now that it was never the case, and I actually found myself completely enraptured by the crew and their camaraderie. In a bleak, dangerous world, it was a well needed boost in between adventures.

Additional Comments

This is probably the best game I've played all year. The mix of stealth action, atmosphere, character depth, world building. It combines so much of everything I look for in a game and executes on the concepts perfectly.

The control situation is pretty unfortunate. I did get used to it, but it was still never satisfying. Always overaiming or underaiming and it just never had a good feeling to it. Thankfully due to the fact that everything else is excellent, it's easy to over look such an issue.

The game is a great package from beginning to end and definitely a memorable experience. I do love stealth games and the unique, full depth world building. As far as I'm aware, this is the end of the Metro series since the books ended and this game also comes to a conclusive end, though it does leave it open for a new entry if need be. I sure hope we get to spend more time in the Metro universe later on, but it has to be earned. I don't want to see none of those cheap cash in mobile games. But I think with the degree of quality we've seen from 4A Games so far, I don't think I have any reason to worry.

I give Metro Exodus...

Days Gone Review - The Last of Us and Far Cry had a baby who grew up on welfare

Boy, I wonder what he's looking at? I bet it's a new and inventive way to add a review score to this page?

Days Gone was a game that wasn't given a chance by anyone. From the second it was announced at E3 some years ago by Playstation, people across the internet had condemned it to be "just another zombie game". It never looked interesting, it wasn't going to be very good, it never wowed anyone, etc, etc. Press, commenters, anyone, it seems that no one truly had anything positive to say about this game.

It always rubbed me the wrong way because naturally I have a wait-and-see mentality and, sure, I thought it looked a little lacking as well and questioned why Sony decided to release another Zombie-inspired game when they already have The Last of Us, but they clearly must have believed in Bend Studios, so I was willing to give it a shot when it came out.

Well, the time came, the press reacted with a not-so-warm reception, and I finally got my hands on it to see for myself. And I have to say, I'm surprised. Surprised by the press reactions, because this game is fantastic.

The short sell. What is it?

Days Gone is exactly what the title says. The Last of Us and Far Cry had a baby. It's an open world stealth action title in which you fight huge waves of infected, groups of human enemies who utilize firearms ranging from sniper rifles, pistols, machine guns, to melee weapons, animals like wolves(and infected wolves!), as well as special infected who are a lot tougher and faster. You complete fetch quests like "go here, kill person", sometimes you have to catch people by engaging in bike chases, you have to clear out so-called "ambush camps" in which there is a certain number of enemies that you must clear out which upon completion grants you a fast travel point you can use in the future, etc, etc.

It's a lot like a Far Cry game mixed with The Last of Us mechanics. You earn experience points that you can utilize on skill points across three categories, Survival, Ranged, and Melee skills. Survival skills allow you to increase the distance of your Detective Vision, pick up more crafting materials/plants/meat from the appropriate areas and the like. Ranged skills affect firearms and increasing their viability, and do things like increase ammo capacity, decrease reload time and the like as well as numerous other things. Melee skills increase melee damage, allow you to repair your crafted melee weapons, and allow you to stealth kill heavy enemies, and so much more.

You will spend the majority of the game riding around on a bike, which you will spend the entire game upgrading. It has things like a gas tank(Which WILL run out, so be careful), speed, traction, nitrous, and defense. You can purchase new parts for your bike by earning Trust at allied camps around the map, which you gain by completing missions for them(Go here, kill enemy, chase this guy on your bike, clear out this enemy camp, etc etc). There are three trust levels between each camp, but in order to get trust level 3 you must complete Hordes and that usually forces you to wait until most of the way through the game as they are quite difficult and require you to be highly equipped for such a task.

The story. It's not good. It's not bad?

You play as Deacon St. John. A biker. Two or three years after the apocalypse from a mysterious virus or something that turns people into monsters called Freakerz, yes, with a Z. Everyone is in agreement about this for some reason. You and your traveling companion called Boozer, or more often than not, just Boozeman, get into some trouble with a gang of Freaker worshippers called The Rippers and Boozer ends up injured, prompting Deacon to try and have to take care of his friend so he doesn't die. This the inciting incident of the game and sends everything off.

Deacon St. John is a biker man who lost his wife Sarah the night the virus went viral and he's been mourning her. Boozer encourages Deacon to let her go because she's dead and it's time to move on, but Deacon's a sad sap and protests.

Deacon takes jobs from other camps because that's pretty much the only civilization left. The big cities all went dead and now it's just these small camps left over. You've got Copeland's camp run by a "Black helicopters, don't take my guns, don't tread on me" anti-government type. The next camp you go to is the Hotsprings Camp which is actually a slave camp where you only eat if you work so going there was actually really uncomfortable. You see guards beating up workers for standing around all the time and it seems to be a really oppressive environment even though the people who run the place like you, because, you know, you don't live there and you do good work for them.

I don't want to dig too deep into the story because I'm going to be addressing some of it in my next topic, but the headline speaks for itself, the story isn't bad, but it sure as shit ain't good.

Disjointed Cutscenes

My biggest problem with this game is the cutscenes. They can only be described by what I can call "cutscene now". You walk up to an area, loading screen, cutscene plays, and loading screen out of them. There's no natural build up or natural progression of them, and a lot of them seem to just happen in such a way where they don't feel natural at all. It's really difficult to talk about without getting into spoilers, but there is a cutscene at the end of the game, right before the very last mission. You know what it is, it's the "YOU READY FOR THIS?" cutscene. The game is getting you hyped up for the end. But the thing is... there's this really "dramatic"(Yes, in quotations) thing that they try to do that falls on its face because of how the cutscenes are formatted in the game.

So you go to start the final mission, it's like "yo this is it, you're going to beat the game now, are you sure you're ready for this?" and then you're like "fuck yeah let's go man". But then it cuts to that familiar blackness of the loading screen. Then, immediately, with no build up, foreshadowing or anything, it immediately hits you with this bullshit "OH YEAH HERE'S A VERY QUICK DRAMATIC MOMENT THAT WE'RE GOING TO SPRING ON YOU". I'm pretty sure the only people who come to my website are bots from Indonesian medicinal scam sites, as per my google analytics data, but if you are real, you know that if I really really care about a game, I try hard not to spoil anything, which is why I'm doing my damndest not to spoil anything right now. I'd really like to say what the scene is, but because I like this game quite a bit, I can't. But I will say, the cutscenes like to come out of nowhere, and are stupid most of the time.

The most egregious being the scene I just described here at the end of the game, and the one at the beginning of the game where they do a flashback to when the virus first started spreading and Sarah, Deacon's wife gets stabbed and it's laughably bad. The narrative in this game isn't very good, to begin with, but the cutscenes, in particular, aren't handled very well.

spoopu

The gameplay is incredible.

People were fucking wrong about this game. When I picked it up for myself I kept asking myself "So when does this game get bad? This shit is gnarly!". Now, there are issues. A lot of issues. The frame rate is complete dog shit at the weirdest times. The game will handle the largest hordes completely fine, but cannot handle you driving through an empty forest without lagging. I don't know why. I'm playing on a base PS4 but still, it happens even on the Pro.

There are some issues as well with the reticles in this game. Some reticles make it fucking impossible to shoot people in the head like the pistol reticle is complete shit. You'd aim right on their head from 3 feet away, not moving, and fire and the bullet will just whiff and miss somehow. It would be completely infuriating. I thought the shooting in the game was completely broken but then I picked up a gun with a different reticle and then I literally never missed. Eventually, I found a machine pistol and I kept making headshots even when I was sure that I missed, so that was great.

I played the game on hard mode, which was an incredibly rewarding way to play the game. It makes the power curve so much more of a struggle to manage, and so earning better firearms and melee weapon upgrades make you really feel like you're climbing a ladder. I remember struggling to manage a handful of Freakerz(Gotta remember that Z, cuz them Z's gonna remember you boiiiii), but eventually I was riding around tackling hordes with relative ease. In fact, there was a period of time at the very end of the game where I had managed to keep the very same melee weapon with me for about the last 30 hours of gameplay. I just kept repairing it, and never lost it. Which made me feel more badass.

The upgrades overall are fantastic in this game. You get better, do more, get better, do more. It truly is a ladder, but once you climb it the things below you become significantly easier. Again, I once had trouble with a handful of Freakerz, but at some point could take on a full Horde with just my Machinegun. Due to my upgrades and the powerful Machinegun, I didn't even need to rely on Napalm or pipebombs to fight, I could just stand and deliver.

Hordes. Bugs. Hordes again.

Yeah, so hordes are amazing. So amazing that I was left awe-inspired by them. The first time you see a Horde will not be in a mission. They aren't scripted. Out of all of the poor narrative design in this game when it comes to the story or the cutscenes, the hordes are probably the best design this game has ever seen. Because they were put exactly where they needed to be: Left for the player to discover on their own. That's the magic of the horde. The very first time you see one, it's going to probably be a different horde than the one another player saw, and not to mention the different circumstances of where and how you saw it, was it during the day? The night? Did you see them from afar? Did they ambush you? Did you get away?

First time I ever saw a horde it was amazing. There were so many of them. The game eases you into it too. You deal with Freakerz here, human enemies there. Handfuls at a time, no more no less. Then, holy fuck my nuggets WHAT IS THAT OVER THERE? A heaping mass of undulating screams, weaving and waving across the streets as they make their way to god knows fucking where, and there you are, almost out of fucking gas, and it's 11:37 PM. Way to go, Deek.

I came across a Horde next to a NERO camp. So I had to infiltrate this NERO camp all the while there were 500 fucking thousand undead motherfuckers waxing and waning around me and I had no idea what to do if they caught me. I had never even seen a Horde before. It was exhilarating. I got in, got one of my upgrades from the NERO Camp, unfortunately, I wasn't able to disable one of the speakers before I turned on the power, but it was far away so it actually drew the Horde away from me, and I was able to Fuel up my bike and I escaped. I loved every minute of this. It was so memorable and incredible. What an experience!

Unfortunately, though Hordes seem to be bugged out quite a bit. Every time I tried to fight a Horde it would stop recording my progress on them. See, a Horde has a certain number of Freakerz associated with them. You have to KILL ALL OF THEM to clear the Horde. It sounds easy enough. But, sometimes what will happen is the number will stop COUNTING down. So you'll actually kill the whole horde, but it will decide to stop counting after you get to the final 20% of them. And there's nothing you can really do but hope they respawn all of a sudden, or just leave and wait for the Horde to spawn again later.

This happened to me several times throughout the game. I cleared every single Horde in the game and I'd say, since I forgot how many hordes there actually are, just as an example, it happened 8 out of 10 times.

It was very frustrating. I really loved the Hordes in this game but this buggy shit made actually FIGHTING THEM annoying.

Final Thoughts

This game has infected kids. You can run around bashing infected kids to death with a baseball bat and that makes me so fucking happy you have no idea. Every other game is so afraid of infected children and they run away from that idea. Afraid of backlash, the online "mob", I don't know. Days Gone got criticism for it too because people are stupid. But this game lets you actually fucking run around bashing in infected kids' head in with a baseball bat and I respect Bend Studios so much for actually having the heart to show that their fucking virus actually affects children holy shit thank you so much.

This game is flawed but incredible. I hope this game gets a sequel because I look on this game a lot like I looked on a game like The Saboteur. A sequel would have ironed out so many issues and showed to everyone just how much of a fucking awesome experience this is, but instead, so many people are circlejerking each other over what the fuck a Metacritic score says, instead of actually seeing for themselves... even though this game has more positive scores than anything, but the internet is going to internet I guess. I just sure hope we get that sequel. I'd love to see a Days Gone sequel with slicker narrative direction and more ironed out mechanics and fewer bugs, maybe on PS5. Bend Studios outdid themselves with this game and they deserve all the best. I love this game and even though it is certainly not flawless, it is certainly a diamond in the rough.

Oh would you look at that, it is a new inventive way to add a review score! Boy ain't I genius. GOOD THING NO ONE FUCKING NOTICES.

Devil May Cry V - The time finally came and so have I

The time has come...

Oh boy Devil May Cry V. I never really thought it would be here after all of these years but it is and I've got the game completion progress to prove it.

My love for DMC goes all the way back to the release of DMC4, or, rather, right before it came out. Everyone was talking about how excited they were for 4, and I had never played any of the other ones aside from the first one years ago, so I made sure to get the DMC Collection on PS2. I had already completed the first one with my uncle when it first came out, so I was cool skipping that, and everyone told me that DMC2 was hot garbage and to avoid that too, so I did. So I dove right into DMC3 and fell in love right away.

It's campy, it's got rocking tunes, and the gameplay is so far over the top it's a little hard to comprehend at times. But I quite enjoyed my time with DMC3. And not long after I finished it and became an official fan of the franchise, DMC4 was about to release.

I still remember going into a Gamestop about 20 miles away from my house because no one else had the Collector's Edition. I show up, it turns out it's a used copy, but that's okay because the person who owned it previously had only played it for a few hours and immediately returned it. So I walked out of the store with an essentially brand new copy of DMC4 and all of the Collector's Edition content still in the box for about $50, which not only was cheaper than the price they were selling the Collector's Edition but was even cheaper than the standard edition. So, I was happy.

And then I got home and booted up the PS3, waited 12 million hours for the game to install because that's what life was like back in the old days, and booted it up. They pulled a fucking MGS2 on me and I had to play as this Nero kid when I wanted to play as good old uncle Dante, but you know what, the Devil Bringer is actually pretty fucking awesome so I didn't end up minding as much.

I liked Nero, I liked seeing Dante again. There was intrigue, mystery, and so many questions. Is Nero related to Vergil? What does his arm have to do with anything? Us fans were so excited to see where the franchise would go and what kind of answers we would get. And, wow, look at that, DMC4 sold very strongly, so that's good news for us. Oh, wait, 4 million sales was considered a disappointment by Capcom? They didn't think it sold enough? They think a niche title like DMC is going to sell like Call of Duty? A reboot? What are you talking about? We're about to get the answers we've been waiting for, wait what the fuck is DmC: Devil May Cry. Why are they antagonizing the fanbase? Why does Dante look like the game's director? Squrriel semen? Unreal Engine!? Is that supposed to be Bill O'Reilly!? What the fuck is going on!?

11 fucking years - the death of my father - severe depression - one failed reboot of the series - and two seasons of FX's hit show Legion later which you can watch right now on Hulu Prime, we finally got those fucking answers.

And it was worth the wait.

These demon trees have simply got to go.

STORY

I think? I played the whole game and paid attention to it but these things just sorta run together and become incomprehensible. So the story is that our boy Dante has accepted a job to go kill this really powerful demon because he's growing all these fucking trees everywhere and the Home Owner's Association have declared that shit bull.

Simple premise and easy to understand. It only gets complicated a bit later on but I'll go into that, but before I do, spoiler warning.

i wish dande was my unkle

There are three main characters of the game that you play as, Nero, Dante, and series newcomer V, or as I like to call him, "The Devil May Cry equivalent to the Arkham Knight" because this shit is not surprising. Seriously, they announced three main characters and everyone was like "Oh I bet one is Vergil!" and then they name this guy fucking V of all thing and they're all like "LOL NOPE IT'S A NEW GUY" but it's not, it's just Human Vergil because apparently, you can do that if you fill a half-demon's dark soul with liiiiiight.

I want to be clear here this is exactly the kind of shit I come to Devil May Cry for. It's a series that takes itself seriously in that it presents a story, conflict, drama, tension, etc, etc, and plays on that to build a fantastic climax. But it's all just fucking chaos and great.

So Dante and Nero are trying to fight this big fuck-off demon and I won't lie it's kind of an annoying fight because you have to do it like 6 times in the game. And I don't just mean that you fight the same boss, I mean it's the same boss battle. You play it from the Dante perspective, you play it from the Nero perspective, and then you do it again and again later on.

Everyone is like "Hey yo this guy is too strong we have to leave" and Dante's like "lol I'm the protagonist wut r u talkin about?????" and tries to wax on this dude but he gets put into a fucking 2-month long coma apparently.

Eventually Dante is found, but his sword, Rebellion, is broken, so he has to figure out something new, which involves him filling his dark soul with swooooord and forging Rebellion into a new kind of sword, the Devil Sword Dante which is sick as fuck and mega cool and it's even named after Dante so you know it'll get some pussy. V ends up having a heart-to-heart with Trish and explains that he's really the human side of Vergil and the devil side is a huge asshole, and Trish quite literally tells him to get gud and fucking leaves. Also V is slowly dying due to being separated from his devil form for so long, so he's running out of time and has to work on some kind of plan to not die, meanwhile no one even really knows who this sandal wearing, poetry reading lunatic even is, and they keep asking "CAN WE TRUST HIM?" to each other instead of just talking to the guy, which I found strange but who cares Dante's going to go fuck shit up now.

So Vergil is fighting this same fucking Urzien boss fight again and he's about to die before Dante comes in in Super Devil Mode and fucking bitchslaps Urzien and is like "no don't kill him he's my friend" and saves Nero.

They all regroup and some other shit happens and Lady and Trish are naked at one point but Sony's a fucking idiot and they censored my one shot at seeing bare ass because I don't have the internet to look that shit up in my own free time. Thanks, Sony. I was almost a sinner. Back to endlessly slaughtering demons in pools of blood and guts!

The trees that this Urzien demon guy is growing are killing people and sucking their blood and condensing it into a super fruit that, once eaten, will make you super powerful or something. But then he eats it and it was one of the easiest boss battles in the game. Like it wasn't even hard.

Then V shows up and is all like "let me talk to this big demon guy don't worry about it" and they decide to not worry about it, but then V is like "being a human sucks and even in your full demon form you can't do anything right so let's just fuse back together" and so they fuse back together and go full Vergil... and you never go full Vergil.

So we've got our cast of characters again. Dante, Nero, Vergil. It's only at the end of the game that any real plot happens because the majority of the game is just grinding through levels and fucking shit up. This isn't exactly a problem, but with the 11 years in between seeing these guys again, I felt nostalgic to see more edgelord drama between them all.

So Vergil's back and goes to the top of this super big tower and Dante goes off to fight him, to finish this "once and for all" because their mom died before she could teach them to not be emotionally stunted manchildren, but before Dante can race after Vergil, he shares the news with Nero that Vergil is really his dad, which he figured out due to Nero's reaction to being around Yamato, and also the fact that it was his arm for, like, a long time.

Smoking killed my dad don't do that shit

Dante beats Vergil, they keep referring to each other as "older brother" and "younger brother" but they used to be twins so I'm not sure if this is a retcon or not. But it doesn't really matter. Dante is about to kill Vergil but Nero finally put on song lyrics and realized he could bang bang bang pull his Devil Trigger. Then he shows up and is like nah fuck that this Vergil guy is my dad and that makes you my uncle and this family relationship is so fucked up" and Nero has a new super Devil Trigger which is fucking insane and he beats the shit out of his dad and then tells him that he needs to be a good guy now.

Vergil agrees and everyone immediately forgets that it was Vergil who destroyed this city, killed thousands of people, and feasted off of their blood to become super powerful. So he's not a bad guy anymore and he and Dante are like "okay bro let's go finish all of these rampant demons in the city" and so they end up going to hell, and leave behind Nero so that he can protect the world above while Dante and Vergil are down in hell trying to chop down this super demon tree that Vergil planted but apparently doesn't know the fucking way to remove because this guy really is an idiot.

And then it cuts to a scene where Dante and Vergil are in hell fighting each other for fun before demons break it up and they have playful banter back and forth because everyone really did just forget that Vergil is an evil murderous prick. Oh and Dante finally says Jackpot.

Credits.

All in all the plot wasn't that interesting until the end of the game because that's pretty much the only time it starts to pick up and go somewhere. I found it very interesting that they retconned the original order of the series as well. It used to be DMC3-1-4-2, but 2 ended with Dante in hell and everyone wondering what would happen when he got out, but everyone hated that game so they made the right call in retconning the new series order to e DMC4-1-2-4, that way we can immediately just jump back in with the characters we know and love and leave 2 behind where it belongs, in hell.

But, that's not why it's interesting. See, DMCV ends with Dante in hell once again, so even though we thought that DMCV was going to be a sequel to 2 and we'd get to see what happened when Dante came back, they retconned that out but in a sense we're still waiting for that followup because as of DMCV both Vergil and Dante are fighting demons and chopping down a huge ass demon tree in hell.

I'm pretty sure I saw a video that started like this once...

Gameplay

I'm not good at these games. I'll just admit that. I love them so much but I suck really bad. My instinct is to button mash and I'm not built to not do that. I remember being really good at DMC4, but that was 11 years ago and my old man brain could be misremembering things.

Each character plays differently to one another which is quite awesome. Nero plays just like Nero did in 4, with the small exception(Depending on who you are, personally I thought it was quite big) that at the beginning of the game, Vergil cuts off Nero's arm so he doesn't have the Devil Bringer anymore, instead he uses a prosthetic replacement created by an inventor friend of his named Nico. The thing about these arms though, is that they are expendable. They explode after too much use so even though they provide unique functions, use them too much and they explode, leaving you to have to find some throughout the level or just spend your Red Orbs to purchase more.

The Red Queen is back and oh boy revving that thing up is still just as fun back in the day as it is today. It's actually quite impeccable that DMCV managed to feel so much like Devil May Cry even after all of these years. Especially after that fucked up failed reboot. But nothing was compromised here. Unlike my issues where RE2 remake just felt like it didn't go far enough, DMCV felt in every possible way I could have imagined like "The Complete Package" that I waited 11 years for.

Dante is the jack of all trades and has a series of weapons he uses, including various firearms as well. Dante was probably one of my favorite characters to play as because of his different fighting styles and weapons. I'm still not great at this game, but I managed to get a couple of SSS's so I felt good about it. The biggest problem I faced with this game was seeing just how far you could take your skills, and how far away from that I was.

My biggest misconception about the game was thinking that you have to know it all. I thought in order to get good as Dante you have to know how to use every weapon, every firearm, every skill. But that's not true. You can reliably get SSS with just one weapon and firearm, it's all about using the different fighting styles to your advantage, since Dante can switch between Tricker for more maneuverability, Royal Guard to block attacks and deliver powerful counterattacks, Gunslinger to perform more powerful gun attacks, and Swordmaster which opens up your melee arsenal quite a bit.

Even though I wasn't the best at this game, using Dante and racking up the combos was incredible. I loved it.

he cool

Then there's V, who is fun to play as but quite simple. He's a weak human but he has the power to summon familiars, one being chicken who can fly around and shoot projectiles, and another one which is a panther who delivers your melee attacks. But they can't kill the targets, so V has to finish them off himself.

V has a Devil Trigger ability that summons a giant monster called Nightmare and he comes in breaking down walls, revealing secret areas, and fucking shit up. He's really fun to use, but the problem I had with V is that he's too easy. Nero and Dante make you work for your combos, but you can literally just spam the triangle button to get easy SSS's consistently. I was never sure if I was utilizing V correctly because it didn't "feel" right, but I wasn't getting hit, I was killing everything in my way, and I was achieving high combos. So I guess it if ain't broke...?

The gameplay in this game is stellar. The videos people make of incredible combos and their perfect gameplay, killing bosses like it's nothing even on the higher difficulties, this game has a high skill ceiling and with enough practice, you can break through it and show off your own incredible combos.

After 11 years they managed to bring back Devil May Cry and as a fan of this franchise who had to suffer through the dark times of no DMC for a long, long time, seeing it come back with such a vengeance, with Reuben Langdon, Johnny Yong Bosch, and Danny Southworth all back together again, well it brings a goddamn smile to my face to be sure.

I give Devil May Cry 5...

...and so have I