Not enough laughs for 'One Night at McCool's"
Paul Tatara CNN.com reviewer
In this story:

Lots of blood, few good laughs

Looks good, sounds bad

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(CNN) -- "One Night at McCool's," a so-so black comedy that pretty much hinges on Liv Tyler's come-hither gaze, is plot-heavy, but about as involving as a stick of gum.

Tyler plays a sultry bimbo named Jewel, whose considerable charms wreak instantaneous havoc on various male libidos. Jewel knows what she wants, and she knows how to manipulate people to get it. And that means trouble.

The story is told by three different men, all of whom view Jewel as a soft-focus Pandora's box of carnal delight.

Randy (Matt Dillon) is the bartender at a little joint called McCool's. He tells his version of the story at a bingo parlor, while hiring an absurdly pompadour-laden hit man named Mr. Burmeister (Michael Douglas). Randy's cousin, Carl (Paul Reiser), is a successful lawyer who describes his longing to a generic psychotherapist (country singer Reba McEntire, for no discernible reason). And Detective Dehling (John Goodman) is a police officer who sees elements of his late wife in Jewel's megawatt sultriness. Dehling confesses his shameless lust to an increasingly aroused priest (Richard Jenkins).

Lots of blood, few good laughs

The first few scenes are the strongest in the movie. There's a cartoonish quality to the events, the pace is quick, and some of the humor is engagingly goofy. One joke, in which a lamp that's been outfitted with The Clapper keeps turning on and off during a noisy bout of sex, gets a solid laugh.

Unfortunately, by the final half-hour, the gags have devolved into endless shots of a man in apparently hilarious bondage gear. There's also a violence-laden conclusion that's way too bloody to be funny.

The story is told in flashback, as Randy explains to Burmeister why he wants Jewel dead. He meets her one night while he's closing McCool's. A greasy creep named Utah (Andrew Silverstein) seemingly kicks semi-clad Jewel out of his car in anger, leaving her to stew in the club's parking lot.

Randy, a nincompoop, takes Jewel to his ramshackle home and, quite understandably, has sex with her. Utah then shows up to rob Randy. But Jewel can't follow through with the premeditated crime, and thoughtfully kills Utah to protect her new bedmate. She then convinces Randy to pretend that he shot Utah in self-defense in order to cover up the murder.

What Randy doesn't know is that married-man Carl spied Jewel that night in the parking lot, and he can't stop fantasizing about her. Detective Dehling, on the other hand, immediately recognized that Randy was lying about the killing, but he's much more concerned with Jewel's hot body than he is with Randy.

(Careful readers will have noted a pattern at this point.)

Before long, Jewel will move in with Randy and force him to commit burglaries to upgrade their lifestyle, live out sadomasochistic fantasies with Carl and bed a quivering Dehling. It's never made clear how she finds time to sleep.

Looks good, sounds bad

Tyler, as you might imagine, is filmed from every conceivable angle, and in a variety of fetching ensembles. She's a real sweetie on late- night talk shows, and gives off an unaffected movie-star vibe, but you'd think someone would finally figure out that she's in dire need of voice training. Her reed-thin delivery seldom varies, no matter what the situation.

The rest of the cast is solid, but no more than that. Dillon has always shown a flair for nutty comedy, and he gets off several good one- liners. There just isn't anywhere to go with the character; Randy starts out dumb and stays that way for the entire picture.

Reiser is basically humiliated for sport, and Goodman slowly overheats, like he always does. Douglas, who also produced the movie, is only around long enough to draw in a few extra customers.

Obviously, all of these performers have delivered in the past. But "One Night at McCool's" is too single-minded, and simple-headed, to maintain interest.

"One Night at McCool's" features the usual array of profanity, quite a bit of sex, and some surprisingly graphic violence. Andrew Silverstein, by the way, used to be called Andrew Dice Clay. But he's not fooling anybody. Rated R. 95 minutes.

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'One Night at McCool's' - official site

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