‘Misery’ Would Be a Masterpiece in Any Decade [We Love ’90s Horror]
Drew Dietsch Felix Vasquez Jr
In the years since this column's debut, '90s horror movies have actually found a sizable and heartwarming amount of rediscovery and reappreciation.
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In the years since this column’s debut, ’90s horror movies have actually found a sizable and heartwarming amount of rediscovery and reappreciation. Physical media has resurrected and restored numerous films to the point where even derided efforts like my beloved I Still Know What You Did Last Summer can get a celebratory 4K upgrade. With this new outlook, horror culture is starting to better redefine the historical landscape of the decade. The conversation is no longer enveloped by the shadow of Ghostface.

But, Misery offers a unique issue when it comes to embracing a movie. An issue made more complex and wonderful by Misery being one of the greatest popular stories to occur in our lifetimes.

A bold claim? Of course, but the evidence is on my side. The novel by Stephen King is often cited among his top standalone achievements in fiction. I had never read the novel and felt that was necessary preparation for this column. Its reputation is beyond earned. The meat of King’s story – injured writer held captive by their biggest fan – hasn’t lost a shred of potency or terror. Misery is in King’s S-tier without question.

That only makes Misery the film all the more incredible. Director Rob Reiner and screenwriter William Goldman add to or change a hefty amount of the source material, inventing whole new characters and plotting. Normally, this would cause concern for an adaptation. However, they don’t misunderstand or alter the dark heart of King’s nightmare. Clever writing and impeccable casting (a true “no small parts” movie where I could spend the whole column praising every cast member) help make everything click into place. Misery is a benchmark example when it comes to understanding how to tell the same story in two different mediums.

Since casting has already come up, Misery’s definitive stamp on pop culture history must be Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes. Given gold from the novel and screenplay to spin into platinum, Bates crafts a villain unmatched in her fearsome domination over our hero, Paul Sheldon (James Caan). Even then, Bates never loses control of the enormous emotional spectrum she needs to make Annie succeed as a human being and not a cartoon. If I must make one of my controversial statements: Anthony Hopkins’ delicious Hannibal Lecter is often understandably heralded as the horror performance of the ‘90s, but Bates deserves that honor instead.

There is so much to champion about Misery that I’d feel remiss if I didn’t fire off a few highlights before getting to The Point. As stated, the limited cast is aces. Caan brings his one-of-a-kind charisma and pathos to Sheldon’s ordeal, Lauren Bacall nails every second of her special appearance as Paul’s agent, and the pairing of Richard Farnsworth and Frances Sternhagen as a married sheriff and deputy is so perfect that I’d watch a whole movie just about them. From the wintery cinematography of Barry Sonnenfeld to the clockwork editing of Robert Leighton, this is a production in perfect harmony with all its moving parts.

Now, The Point. It’s not in debate whether Misery is respected. Rather, there are parts of its DNA that seem to have made it a difficult movie to adopt as a masterwork of the decade. For one, it doesn’t feel like it belongs in its decade. Not solely because it was released in 1990 – a year that this column has proven is a high watermark for horror – but because it has a timeless aura. You can certainly date the movie but the execution and intention of the story does strive for universal understanding regardless of era. That timeless quality ensures the film’s longevity, but it also seems to have stopped it from leading horror’s greatest hits in the ‘90s because it doesn’t feel “‘90s.”

Though, the real core difficulty and power of Misery is that it is a story that rejects fandom as identity and feeling ownership over someone’s creative work. So, an Annie Wilkes Funko Pop! or a T-shirt with a Paul Sheldon book cover design is always going to carry some unavoidable dissonance. You can say similar things about horror merchandise mainstays like Freddy Krueger or Pennywise, but regardless of their moral positions as mascots, they aren’t actively engaging with criticizing fan culture. Annie Wilkes will always confront the audience’s relationship with consumer art and its artists, and that’s likely why she’s not able to become a legitimized brand for horror.

Which is kind of awesome. We all love our favorite horror icons, but Misery shouldn’t really be a part of that machine by design. It’s operating on a singular and pointed nature that defies submitting to total commercialization. Misery is a legitimate masterpiece that would stand out in any decade, but it needs to be seen right up there with Candyman as a contender for the best horror movie of the ‘90s.

The ‘90s often get a bad rap with horror fans. After the numerous successful slashers and creature effects films of the ’80s, the ‘90s offered a different variety of horror fare. Though there were plenty of hits, hidden gems, and misunderstood classics, the ‘90s usually don’t get the kind of love that other decades get when it comes to horror. It’s time to change that.

For this month’s installment of “TV Terrors” we revisit the small screen adaptation of 1980s movie “Weird Science,” which aired from 1994 – 1998 on the USA Network.

I probably sound like an old fogy when I say this, but the USA Network of the cable television heyday was drastically different than the USA Network we have today. Back in the early nineties, USA Network was a free for all of weird, fun entertainment. There were adult cartoons, erotic thrillers, “Up All Night,” sports events, a large Saturday morning cartoon line up, classic horror movies, Troma double bills, and there were even kung fu movies every weekday morning.

USA Network also aired the primetime TV series adaptation of “Weird Science.”

The classic John Hughes sci-fi comedy from 1985 was adapted in 1994 into a mostly faithful TV version that took everything scandalous about the original film and amped up the ridiculousness by about fifty percent. While you wouldn’t think “Weird Science” would be considered much of a horror series at all, the writers surprisingly managed to take the opportunity to deliver various horror-tinted themes. Even when the show adhered mainly to the science fiction comedy elements of the movie, the series’ writers always injected this air of menace and sinister intentions behind genie Lisa, whose own naivete made her dangerous to her new friends.

The fact that the premise was so absurd allowed the writers to do pretty much whatever they wanted, injecting elements like aliens, time travel, and even monsters into the mix.

In place of Ilan Mitchell-Smith and Anthony Michael Hall were Michael Manasseri and John Asher, respectively. All the while fashion model turned actress Vanessa Angel did a bang up job replacing Kelly LeBrock as walking deus ex machina Lisa. In place of Bill Paxton as Chett was the equally obnoxious and fun Lee Tergesen. He appears throughout the series playing the constant foil to the pair of friends, almost always intruding on their schemes.

The pilot, “She’s Alive!” was basically a truncated twenty two minute, sanitized remake of the 1985 film. It’s meant to really lay out the entire premise for the new audience. And it gets the job done. All the while it also sets the bar for what the show is conceptually trying to achieve. It’s about as goofy and silly as all get out, but it’s also about more than the two characters trying to lose their virginity. The teen sex comedy angle is downplayed in favor of more misadventures involving sci-fi, the supernatural, magic, and beyond.

This allowed the writers a chance to do pretty much whatever they wanted, with Lisa acting as a tech based genie and excuse to inject the extraordinary plot elements. The series dabbled in a lot of horror themed standalone episodes, as well; among some of the best was “Bikini Camp Slasher,” where slasher geek Wyatt is convinced that he could kick the butt of any movie slasher.

Lisa takes it literally and warps the pair into the reality of their newest slasher film, and the catch is that they can’t leave until the movie officially ends. In “The Sci Fi Zoned,” the guys take in a twenty four hour marathon of their favorite black and white horror anthology show. After hearing their enthusiasm for the series, wouldn’t you know it? Lisa zaps them into the show when a big fight threatens their friendship. There are a ton of fun callbacks to classic “Twilight Zone” episodes including “The Living Doll,” who is voiced by none other than original Talky Tina actress June Foray. But probably my favorite episode is “You’ll Never Eat Brains in This Town Again.”

When Lisa attempts to make her own zombie movie, she zaps a horde of actual brain eating zombies into their reality. Despite her insistence they’re docile during the day, the zombies set off a potential apocalypse as they begin craving human brains, prompting Wyatt, Gary, and Chett to figure out how to stop them. Even worse, Lisa being bitten has turned her into a potential flesh eater.

Unlike previous attempts to serialize John Hughes classics like “Ferris Bueller” and “Uncle Buck,” USA’s “Weird Science” was a surprising success. It lasted five whole seasons, and ended right on the cusp of the network’s reformatting to fit in endless hours of crime procedurals. Once ending in 1998, the show re-ran in syndication for a few years on other cable channels before disappearing for a long time.

It certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but “Weird Science” still holds up well as this weird mid-nineties fever dream that embraced its silly and took risks with various sub-genres.

Where Can I Watch It? Sadly only the first season of the series is available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime Video. Various episodes, however, can still be found on YouTube.