Bullet to the Head and Coors Light
Things weren't looking too good for Sylvester Stallone at the turn of the century. Planet Hollywood, in which he was a shareholder, filed for bankruptcy, movie roles were drying up. Some movies were skipping the multiplexes and debuting on video, unless Eye See You played on two screens. And worst of all, he starred in…
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A Brew To A Kill
Things weren’t looking too good for Sylvester Stallone at the turn of the century. Planet Hollywood, in which he was a shareholder, filed for bankruptcy, movie roles were drying up. Some movies were skipping the multiplexes and debuting on video, unless Eye See You played on two screens. And worst of all, he starred in Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, which I may or may not have seen (no comment). When Sly announced a new Rocky movie, a collective groan was let out by moviegoers everywhere. Wasn’t Rocky V bad enough? Would The Italian Stallion box the staff of a nursing home? Give it up, man.

Turns out joke was on us. Stallone was hungry again and put his all into Rocky Balboa, a film more about aging and legacy than boxing. That was followed up with Rambo in 2008, which is one of the best (and goriest) action movies of the last decade. And now with a new film coming in October and two in post-production, Stallone shows no signs of slowing down. not bad for a guy that just celebrated his 67th birthday this July. His newest movie paired him with director Walter Hill. But is it any good?

After killing their latest target, James Bonomo (Stallone) and his partner ( I don’t remember his name at all) are ambushed by another hit-man, simply called Keegan (Jason Momoa). With his bud sporting new holes and turning cold, Bonomo has one thing on his mind: revenge. But the man they killed was an ex cop and his former partner, Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang), comes to New Orleans looking for answers. Dirty cops try to kill Kang and an uneasy alliance forms between the two as they look for answers and uncover more than they bargained.

The Coors Brewing Company was founded in 1873 by Adolph Coors and Jacob Schueler in Golden, Colorado. In 1978 the brewery debuted Coors Light. Most recently Coors Light has beat out Budweiser for the second best selling beer in America.

Bullet to the Head is a standard action film with a few stand out elements. In Stallone’s world, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. The chemistry between Stallone and Kang is nothing special. Casual racism always forms bonds. Jason Momoa is by far the best thing in this movie. Keegan is cold and ruthless. He kills just about every character he encounters. At the end of the film he wants to hash out his differences with a fire axe fight. Christian Slater nails his return to theatrical films as a sleazebag. Who would have thought? Guess how he ends up dying. There’s also a character who’s from East Africa, who is the mastermind. The plot is about land grabbing, dirty cops and paid off judges I guess. That seems a bit muddled.

If you don’t like Stallone movies I wouldn’t even bother with this one. I can forgive the lack of character development and undercooked plot points. But I can’t forgive the horrid cinematography. The movie was shot on digital, while the day scenes looks fine, the night scenes, especially outdoors, look like a made for TV movie (shades of Sharknado). And the majority of this film takes place at night! Digital may be the way of the future but the hyper realism it brings to cinema doesn’t always work. This movie is a walking advertisement for Blackberry and fittingly, Bulleit Bourbon. Stallone’s character even carries around a bottle of it since few bars in The Big Easy carry it. I thought about buying a bottle and taking a shot for every character that gets a bullet to the head. By my count, there are nine headshots in under 80 minutes. I think I made a wise choice.

Out of the three major light beers, The Silver Bullet is the least offensive. In fact I would argue it tastes good, or at least better than Miller Lite and Bud Light. I don’t think people realize how difficult it is to make a balanced middle of the road light lager. Most people want refreshment out of their beer and it delivers. Make no mistake, the people who brew Coors Light and their line of products are good at what they do. I don’t understand their can packaging. Cans of Coors Light come with a double wide vented mouth, a frost brew liner, cold activated mountains, and two step cold indicator. What does that all mean? I honestly don’t know. Does it affect the taste? It sure went down easy thanks to the double wide vented mouth, I guess. So, how many Silver Bullets did I take to the head? Seven. You win this round, Sly.